JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
