Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
