so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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