At least make sure they are 18
Why
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You can't just leave with hair like that
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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