I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
