i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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