So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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