Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
