took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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