dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just high enough for therapy.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
