i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
