I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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