I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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