Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
