It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
