My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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