Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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