It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize