There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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