Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
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