Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
