Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize