I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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