Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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