apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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