Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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