I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
