I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize