Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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