Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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