Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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