I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize
