Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
