dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
