I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize
