he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
