dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
