at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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