its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We are all done wearing pants today
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