So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize