I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
