Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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