Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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