You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
