she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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