I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
