saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm at about main and main street
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
