remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
