Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
