you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
