i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
