She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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