fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
