I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize