I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
