Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
