Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
