Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
