hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize