Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
